I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
