First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
