No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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