I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's like heaven, but drunker
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
