Me. At least after what I've been through.
kristin has been a bad kristin
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to align my fucking chakras
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
