He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
