areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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