"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and she was petting her beer can
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Randomize
