either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
