Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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