I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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