Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
