oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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