youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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