I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
