Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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