Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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