It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
