You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
