you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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