Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
