you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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