Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Watching her eat just hurts me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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