honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
