Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
