it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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