so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
