Christians are straight up FREAKS
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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