What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I deserve this hangover.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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