If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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