Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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