I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
