Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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