I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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