South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
