yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
