so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
