in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
