Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
