i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
