I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
