I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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