If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
