i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
