I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
