Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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