k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize