I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
