They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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