She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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