What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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