Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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