You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
try to milk me bitch
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
