So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
